It is NEVER about you.
Don't ever take things personal.
Don't worry.
Be YOU, no matter what.
Happiness doesn't come from outside sources, happiness comes from inside yourself.
Running from your problems doesn't solve a thing.
Tell people the truth, even if it might hurt their feelings.
Be kind. When things seem unbearable, count your blessings.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Be dependable.
If you say you are going to do something, do it.
Smile at those around you.
Serve people, especially when you're having a bad day.
Never lie to yourself.
Don't expect too much out of yourself. Be fair to YOU.
Admit when you are wrong.
Apologize.
I have not mastered all of those things, but they are definitely things that I have learned and am trying to remember as I go about my days. Some people say the best thing they ever did was get married, some say having a baby was, but for me, getting sober has been the greatest gift I've given to myself, and something I will never take for granted again.
I have been thinking a lot lately about where I might be in 5 years, what I want to be doing, and how I am going to get there. Maybe its because I am turning 30 in two months, but its been on my mind a lot, especially today. It is really weird living in a place where families and children are all around you. Utah is such a wonderful place to live, but the culture is hard at times, especially for a woman. Being 30 years old with no kids and no husband is kind of foreign around here. It is getting more common, but it doesn't make it easy. I am finding it has actually been a gift though because it has forced me to find happiness within me, and not look for it in other people. Living by myself I have really found what makes me tick. I have found what I like and don't like, who I want in my life, and I know exactly the type of person I want to share my life with one day. The acceptance mentality that I have had for so long is slowly leaving. Maybe its because I am seeing my worth, but I just don't care as much, and I understand now that not everyone is going to accept me no matter what I do. I don't need to be validated by anyone, and I am absolutely certain that I am completely worth someone's time. I was thinking today about something that my brother in law Cameron told me the day my wedding was called off 10 years ago. I remember just being so upset that day wondering how this could ever happen to me. Now that I look back, I think I knew it was going to happen, but I think sometimes love is blind and reality gets pushed aside. I was being very dishonest with myself. What Cameron said to me though will stick with me forever..... he said this "Amelia, you want someone who wants to run to the temple to marry you. They can't wait. You won't have to beg, and you won't have to feel like they don't want to be there. They will be proud to call you theirs, and they will want everyone to know and meet you. You deserve this. You will find it."..... I think at the time, and up until recently, I just haven't felt those type exist. I have yet to find that man, but one thing I do know is I have to BELIEVE that they do exist. Maybe far and few between, but they are there, and I am worth it. So, there are some of the thoughts I've had over the past few months. Bring on 30 years old. I am stoked. I have a feeling there are big things to come. You just have to BELIEVE.
Ok, now here's the part where I count all my blessings..... so here goes nothing.
I love my job, I have the best job. I have the best supervisor Cassie. She has been such a blessing in ways she can't imagine.
My family is the best. I love them. Despite the struggles over the years and all the hardships, we still all come out on top.
Annie is my hero. She is the best dog in the world. My life would be empty without her, and she has truly shown me the true meaning of unconditional love. I love being a doggy mom.
Billy is still just awesome, and I am blessed to call him my friend.
I got a second job at Pier 1 Imports and I love it. I work crazy hours, but am grateful to have money coming in and being able to make it.
I love movies, and am grateful for them as of recently. I haven't had cable or internet since I moved in, so basically I've been watching movies since April 25th. Its ok. I love movies.
I've got a running car. Although its not registered and it needs new brake pads, it works.
I am healthy. I am not battling a disease of any kind. I am so grateful for that.
I've got a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on.
I have been blessed with a gift to run. I love running.. Although my knees have been acting up recently, I am grateful for what running has given me.
And some blessings in pictures...
Billy, Annie and I on the 4th getting sushi :)
Me and my moms best friend Collette. She is amazing and has known me longer than anyone else.
Me and Annie up in park city at a family reunion
Me and my good friend Tygr. The guy drives me crazy sometimes, but for some reason I still wonder how he is doing and enjoy my time with him. :)
Next, goals. Here are some goals I've set for myself over the next 5 years.
Buy my own home, small, with a fenced yard.
Have 3 dogs. 1 big and 2 small.
Grow with progressive finance.
Find someone to share my life with
Run a marathon out of state
One day at a time my friends. One day at a time! I love you all, Ill write more next week xoxoxo
Amelia and Annie
