Follow up from my last blog, the running and prep for my marathon is going great. Official training doesn't start until June 2, but I have still been running consistently to make sure I can run a solid 6 miles the week I start. Only 187 more days until my very first marathon!! Ah! I can't wait. I have never been to Portland, but I hear that it is absolutely amazing, and I can't wait to see it for myself. One of the followers on my recovery instagram page lives there, and she wants to meet up with me while I am down there. It will be so nice to meet her! It is so amazing that people I hardly know have become some of the most influential people in my life. The bond that two people in addiction have is something different. There is a level of understanding there that is unique and special. Those are the types of people that I need in my life right now, and I am grateful for those of you who have stuck around.
They say in recovery you will discover who your true friends are. I think that is true for any type of change that happens in life really. Whether it be recovery, coming out of the closet, big weight loss, change in religion, etc, you truly see who is there for you and who is not. If any of you have experienced this type of change, you know exactly what people I am talking about. You feel like they are trustworthy, but in reality, they aren't, and it sucks bad when you find that out. Still though, for a brief moment, you somehow try and figure out what you possibly could have done.... until one day, you don't anymore. You wake up. You realize that you didn't do anything at all, and then you just let go. You stop apologizing. You take care of you. If there is one thing I have learned this week, is that when someone gets upset at you, throws daggers at you, or tries to ruin your relationship with the ones you love, its usually about something going on inside of them. It is never about you. I truly know that to be true, and how I know this is because I used to do it when I was miserable, so I can spot it just like that. I just know that at this point in my life, and with the changes I have made, I feel more confident to stand up for myself and say no. You don't treat me this way. Because once you cross me and try to turn the ones I love against me, you are dead to me. Dead. And there is little chance of that ever changing. The trust will never come back again. I don't need that, no one does. I got this quote this week from a good friend, and I believe this to be true!
I love that quote, and I am glad for all the lessons I have learned, even the hard ones. But I am confident that even the hardest lessons, and the ones that hurt you the most, are usually the most worth it. I have decided to surround myself with people that make me want to be a better person, and people who bring me up. One of those people, who I have mentioned a TON, is Billy. What a guy. What a freaking guy, and an answer to numerous prayers. He continues to be the best person in my life. I try to be just as good back to him, but I don't know if I will ever match up! After I went running last Saturday night, I came in the house and he was already there waiting for me. He had a candle that smelled so yummy, and little lights all around my room so that he could give me a massage. Just what I needed after a run! I made dinner, we hung out and just talked. No drama. No motives behind words. No fakeness, just honesty. I feel peace in my heart when he is around, and he is the type of person that makes me want to be better every day. I thank God for him at least a few times a day. I really do have great friends, great parents, and the best dog. And how could I ever not mention my big brother who is my hero. I am a blessed person.
Other than just life and the things that go along with it.... a lot has actually been going on. The lease on my condo is up on April 30th. I will be moving to a new apartment with my good friend Whittney Bell. She is so freaking cool, more like a sister to me! I am so excited to live with her. We are looking for a place near Sandy/Draper since we both work around there, and are excited to move in together. I can't wait! On Sunday afternoon she came over to my house and we hung out like old times in high school. She went to the laundromat with me, the grocery store, and she even dyed my hair! Yes, after a whole year I finally did something with my hair. Thank you Whittney!!!!! It's my natural color, but I like it. I don't want anything fancy. Plus it was only 9 bucks! You can't beat that!
Just plain old brown. Just how I like it.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I am grateful for all your support! Oh and if you have any extra prayers, please send them my way! I had a job interview today for a job that I need and want. I had a recruiter contact me, which I thought was a sign, so I did the interview. Fingers and toes crossed!! Love you all!!!
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