Last night I did FaceTime with my sponsor from NYC. I can't believe how much this amazing woman has helped me, and taught me over the past week. I have been struggling finding a sponsor that works for me and my needs, and when I found Cindee, I knew she was the one. She is a special, amazing, sober woman, who has done all the steps herself and is walking me thru all of them as well. Cindee celebrates 11 years this month, I am so proud of her.
When I say it is a pretty crazy story how we met, its true. How this all happened has yet again shown me that there is a higher power out there. My sister Abbey went to NYC last year to attend a yoga training thru Anna Forrest. While she was there, Cindee was in her training. When Abbey came home she friended her on FB, so Cindee got connected to this blog. Cindee then sent me a FB message and friend request and told me she would be there for me if I needed it. We started talking, and now she is helping me thru the steps. I am just so thankful for this and how it has all happened. Who knew, Abbey going to NYC last year for a yoga training would get me a sponsor. I truly believe that things aren't just a coincidence.
I had quite the experience this week, which at first, left me at a loss. After much thinking about it I have decided that thru this sobriety process, my Higher Power is helping me to eliminate all sorts of negativity out of my life. I've been a CNA for 5 years, working in all sorts of areas. My CNA experience has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in my life. I've worked for hospice, home care, assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing, and many other areas. I have honestly met some of my best friends thru being a CNA and had some incredible experiences. I recently got hired at Beehive Homes in Draper working for the memory care unit. The building just opened August 1st, so I started on day 1. From the day I started it felt wrong. Something wasn't sitting right. A good friend of mine offered me the job because she was going to be the manager. I have learned now, never to work for a best friend. She is 22 years old, so she is quite a bit younger than me, but I really thought of her as a good friend so I took the job. Like I said, from the first day the building opened I felt off. I felt that my friend was a completely different person. I wasn't sure if maybe her being the "boss" changed her, but something was not right. That was in August, and since then it has been absolute hell. It has been the WORST job I have ever had, and has actually turned me off to healthcare all together. While I was working there I got a second job at Progressive Finance and loved it! I was only working 20 hours a week, but my time there I felt was so much more rewarding than my full time job at Beehive Homes. I love the people I work with! I thought about quitting Beehive a lot, but couldn't bring myself to do it, not because I wanted to work there, but because I have been a CNA for so long so I am attached to it in a way. My boss (friend) and I have been in numerous fights while at work, and the days I left there upset were the days that I drank the most, as if I wasn't already drinking enough. It seemed that no matter how hard I worked, she was still not happy with me. A couple of months into the job, me and her were no longer friends. We became coworkers, if that. Last week it hit a head. It was really bad. I got called into the office and they let me go because of how Kami and I do not get along. Never in my LIFE have I ever even been written up at a job. I have never even been disciplined. I have only been promoted! The GM offered me a job working in the other building, but I declined. It was definitely not how I wanted things to end there, but like I said, I think that because of eliminating the alcohol out of my life all things negative are leaving. I don't know if it's a shift in energy, Gods will, or what, but so much change has been happening to me. I left there crying so bad that I didn't even know what to do. This has never happened to me at a job. I started full time at Progressive Finance the very next day, but it's still hard. Not being a CNA is challenging. It's all I know how to do it seems like, and I will miss my residents so much. I just HAVE to remember that everything happens for a reason. Everything. No matter how hard it may get at time, its happening for a reason. I know that I will come out on top of this. I love Progressive Finance, it is such a good change for me and I absolutely love my coworkers. We have such an amazing team. I am so excited for 2014 and all the things I can feel coming my way. Bring it on.
Thank again everyone for reading along with me. It truly softens my heart and helps me thru the hard times. 33 days sober today, and I couldn't feel better. This has been the hardest, but most life changing 33 days of my life. I wouldn't take any day back regardless of how hard it has been. I love you all.
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